Rodrigo Sorogoyen presented a series at the Valladolid Film Festival where portrays the life of a couple more than ten years condensed into ten Christmases. If any political statement cannot stand the passage of newspaper archives, love also cannot stand the moviolas.
Look at the intimacy of a relationship, beyond the terrain complicit or hostile to bed, it provokes contradictory feelings in us due to the ease with which we recognize ourselves in it; We do this by noticing how bodies and appearances change or how the touch of hands stops shaking us and seeing that everyday words slide more easily than those of love. The scroll of time is very fast and wears out without us noticing. There is no point in resisting the wear and tear that infiltrates through the cracks of coexistence and the worst part is that it only becomes evident to those looking from the outside.
I just remembered a detail that impressed me my first visits to London: It’s a city without shutters, so when walking around it’s inevitable to look inside those Victorian houses with windows at street level through which life escapes between half-closed curtains.
The voyeur in us not only snoops around the decor, but also discerns the daily juggernaut of everyday life in the routine movements of those who live there. Something difficult to detect for those who, on the inside, divert their attention from the monitor to their cell phone while their partner monologues behind their back. Can we tell that a relationship is breaking before the bang it makes when it explodes into the air? How to use the magnifying glass of curiosity to notice small fractures that cannot be distinguished in everyday life?
No one wants to look in a mirror that reflects their blind spots.
Suppose that love was a tenacious force and that this force protected it from wear and tear. Difficult equation, but not impossible. So, perhaps what is impaired is our ability to perceive what is new and surprising in others; Time can waste our amazement, so the gaze of an outsider, like a camera lens, obtains more information than we do. Think about it for a moment: surely you, like me, have come across couples who separate hear from your friends “I don’t know how you didn’t realize this beforebut if your relationship was broken” the surprise is now accompanied by disappointment because whoever loves you should have warned you about something you didn’t even suspect.
The wear and tear of love is a thin fabric that slowly tears apart until it becomes impossible to put it back together again. Looking at a couple similar to ours takes couragesince no one wants to look in a mirror that reflects their blind spots. Also a trained acceptance because we can do nothing for them, because by intervening in a disaster we run the risk of being scalded. The attitude is to act as a silent witness as life continues its course.
The deterioration of love is inevitable, just like the aging of a face.
Even so, I continue to wonder if the deterioration of love is inevitable, like the aging of a face. Perhaps, if we learned to observe details carefully, if we were careful with each of our manifestations and the reactions of others, perhaps we would detect the cracks as soon as they occurred. A wall does not collapse without first having cracks that alert us to the danger. of collapse. What if curiosity, understood as the desire to continue to surprise ourselves with what we discover in others, was an antidote?
Giacomo Casanova warned that The love formula is two-thirds curiosity and one-thirds attachment.. I like the equation to keep the flame of curiosity alive and this habit doesn’t blow out my candle. At least until Sorogoyen releases his series.
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